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To find context around this blog, you are welcome to go to the Coffee With Abba Intro
I will share some experiences with you to illustrate the point I am making in some blogs. I focus on the positive results of overcoming these challenges and not using it to shame those who hurt me.
I was healed from much.
The blogs are written as the Holy Spirit leads me and what He wants me to share on a particular day.
You’re welcome to respond on the comments page or email me directly.

The Excellence of Love

1 Corinthians 13 verses 1 – 3

13 If I speak with the tongues of mankind and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 
If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 
And if I give away all my possessions to charity, and if I surrender my body so that I may glory, but do not have love, it does me no good.

New American Standard Bible
Mom Pat Anderson and I

Finding myself on cuppa tea number 3, Mom Pat Anderson (spiritual mom) lovingly looked at me in only the way she can; as she heard me out.
You’ll get to read a lot about her in these blogs.
A wise woman and, as some of us call her ‘The Legend’. Her love and example reached across oceans. ‘Love’, to her dying day was her key message.

Right – back to the story.
Not going into many particulars; I was in an abusive marriage for close on 10 years.
You may find yourself in one, as you read this, or still suffer the after effects of such a relationship. Know, there is help on all levels – reach out to loved ones who are concerned. You’re not alone and you will and can get out.

This conversation happened a few months before my ex husband asked me for a divorce.
Talking and crying out my frustrations and off-course adding that I am trying to pray him off this planet, as trying what the wives did in the the crime program ‘Wives with Knives’ was going to end me up in jail. Mister was not worth it. I hated him with a passion.

Mom Pat heard me out while passing the tissues.
Pausing to take a sip of her tea – a pair of piercing blue eyes staring at me I knew the the Holy Spirit was telling her something which I was to hear.

“Erika, my girl – he is God’s child and you should pray for him” followed by motherly advice and that it’s not God’s will for me to stay in this situation. It meant though, that I must as hard as it was – act the opposite to how he treated me. Also as part of protecting me from harm.

Proverbs 15 verses 1 – 3
15 A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise makes knowledge pleasant,
But the mouth of fools spouts foolishness.
The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
Watching the evil and the good.
(Bold and Italic is to note)

It didn’t mean I was to be a doormat or had to take it lying down. It meant, my attitude and actions in this situation had to best mirror love.

As much as I felt and was justified by society’s standards to hate him, retaliate and even condemn him to death – it would not be right and would if not; put me further in harm’s way.

Love; the hardest action to take when you’re in an oppressive and abusive relationship of any kind. Love seems to be the most cowardly thing to do when your enemy runs riot making you feel defeated.
By showing the agape (charity) love and off-course prayer and lots of time with God, I learnt that love is the most powerful action and emotion.
Prayer is a form of love.
As hard as it is, I started to act the opposite to what he expected me to do or say – sometimes failing. I started to pray – life over the situation and him.
One day he came home and asked for a divorce.

Over 14 years later, I am healed, happy and able to write this blog to share with you.